


Imperfectly Perfect

by GOTHMARK



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Anal Sex, Bottom Mark Lee (NCT), Getting Together, Idiot in love?, Johnny is whipped for mark, M/M, Smut, Top Suh Youngho | Johnny, emotion crisis, hornyness, in Doyoung and taeyong we trust, the smallest angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:28:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28456095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GOTHMARK/pseuds/GOTHMARK
Summary: Johnny would like to say his life is perfect right now, but that would be exaggeration, it’s more like...neat. He likes his job, likes singing, rapping and performing on stage for fans or fellow coworkers. For the whole world.But there’s something that makes it all crumble, one person that makes Johnny’s world imperfect. Mark, mark fucking lee.
Relationships: Mark Lee/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Comments: 4
Kudos: 136





	Imperfectly Perfect

**Author's Note:**

> Last fic of 2020, debated if I wanted to post this as my last fic and I said no at first but I just said fuck it and finished this ugly piece of work. 
> 
> Some notes, Johnny does not hate Yuta! Theyre the bestest of friends, Johnny is just a little jealous. I have no idea what to add as tags, so bear with me. 
> 
> Anyway enjoy this, whatever this is, I seriously didn’t plan on writting this it’s just came to my head and I wrote it down. 
> 
> This isn’t beta’d, so there might be mistakes, but whats new

Johnny would like to say his life is perfect right now, but that would be exaggeration, it’s more like... _ neat _ . He likes his job, likes singing, rapping and performing on stage for fans or fellow coworkers. For the whole world. They’ve done a good job as a group, as  _ nct.  _ Their album sales and stream have gone through the roof and Johnny is more than greatfull, especially with the award they’ve won. 

It’s perfect in a way that he’s reassured that he’s surrounded by great people, staff who take care of him and others well, do their job so they can do their job as a group, a balance. And members who adore him, adore each other, they work well together, even as 23 men. It’s a lot yet they make it work. 

But there’s something that makes it all crumble, one person that makes Johnny’s world imperfect.  _ Mark, mark fucking lee. _ It’s not that mark is imperfect himself because  _ gosh _ he’s beyond perfect but it’s the way he makes Johnny feel. The way he can make Johnny stutter on his words, the way he can make Johnny stumble on his feet with just a look. 

Yes look, a glance, because Mark’s eyes are dreamy, big and doe like. They hold passion, love, hatred, want, lust and it was easy to read them, to see the stars in Mark’s eyes. The way he sees when he looks out the window in his room. Pretty and big everyone puts it simply, but Johnny could write a poem about them, maybe a book. It’s dramatic, he knows but it’s mark, with him everything is above and beyond. 

Johnny doesn’t know if he would say he’s in love, maybe he is, it’s nothing he’s put too much thought in. More focused on getting off half of the time. But he certainly thinks Mark is special. They’re good friends, best friends, and that's a problem on all it’s own. It's that—the thing keeping him back from thinking about being someone to mark that isn’t just a friend, because who falls in love with their best friend, someone they’ve taken care of since they were young. Grew up together, trained together. 

It’s silly, but Johnny can’t help his feelings, not when mark lee exists, like he exists to torture Johnny and keep him back from being fully at ease in his life. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Stop staring creep.” Johnny doesn’t enjoy being teased, not by Jaehyun specifically but his band mate could care less, instead scoots his chair closer, the drag of the metal against the floor makes an unpleasant sound before coming to a stop. “Swear, your eyes are gonna  _ pop _ out of your body if you stare anymore” 

“Shut up” is all Johnny says, he’s annoyed, not angry, and maybe jealous. He’s been watching mark sit on one of the couches, they’re in a waiting room, everyone either getting out off clothes and into their stage outfits, getting their hair done or makeup out on, some are passed out in other rooms. Johnny and Jaehyun sit waiting to be attacked with makeup brushes and hair wands. 

“I’m not the one starring at mark like I’m going to eat his ass for dinner and dessert” 

“Dude, just—-“ 

“My dear Johnny boy, why don’t you talk to him—- _ oh!”  _ Jaehyun stops for a moment, brings his palm to rest on his chin. “That's right—he’s too busy with Yuta.” Johnny knows it’s a trap, and he won’t fall in, he would never give jaehyun the satisfaction of breaking him. But he’s not wrong, Yutas sitting right next to Mark, hugging him, grabbing his cheeks and even kissing them, it’s why he’s been staring the whole time.

And it leaves a bitter taste on his tongue. Johnny wishes it was him next to mark. 

Johnny wants to hold Mark's hand, his small delicate hands, wants to pinch his cheeks and compliment him. He’d treat him like glass, like a porcelain doll, a shiny new toy. But there’s a vile desire in him too, like an angel and devil batting in his consciousness. He wants to destroy Mark, grab his pretty little face with his big hands, squish his cheeks in a way that’s mean, maybe grab other cheeks. Break him, turn him into putty. Maybe that’s too mean and probably out of line, but Mark makes him like this and  _ only him.  _

“You’re so whipped” it’s the last thing jaehyun says for now, not out of choice when their stylists are surrounding them, getting them ready for the stage. “Whatever” Johnny responds faintly. There’s hands on him now, his hair being brushed, skin being pressed down by a soft sponge. It felt nice in a way. 

Though Johnny wasn’t particularly fond of it when it was marks turn, he hops cutely into his seat, kicks his feet when the chair is just a little too high for him. Johnny's heart does a somersault. Mark smiles, big, reminds himself he does that to everyone, it’s precious. But the hands roaming around him leaves Johnny displeased, his eyes go dark, watches every move the stylists make on mark. 

To his luck—actually unlucky—mark catches his eyes through the mirror, he doesn’t smile anymore, just stares at Johnny, the corner of his lip curl ever so slightly that maybe if Johnny wasn’t so entranced he would’ve missed it, but he sees it before it disappears and mark is back to talking to Yuta who sits next to him again. 

Only seconds later does Johnny realize that it felt like a tease, that mark was playing with him.

Or maybe Johnny was just overthinking it,  _ yeah _ he’s crazy. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The drive back home was excruciating, of course one of the vans just happened to have problems, un drivable they said, so some members had to sit on others lap. One of them being mark. Johnny should’ve jumped at the opportunity, who wouldn’t want pretty mark lee sitting on their lap. But Johnny doesn’t have the confidence in doing so, mark makes him lose it. 

Instead he has to watch mark get on yutas lap, Yuta says he’s not heavy, “his ass feels like a pillow” they laugh at yutas words, except Johnny, he pretends there's music blasting in his earphones. He looks away, this time actually turning on his playlist. There’s a light tap on his shoulder, it was taeyong, he points in front of him and Johnny follows to see mark mouthing something. 

“What—sorry I had my earphones” Johnny tucks one of the buds off, and puts the music on pause, for mark he’d drop anything. “Hyung is ignoring mark” johnny knows mark is joking, it’s something he always does with him, yet everytime it makes Johnny feel sick with the way he loves it. So he plays along, always. “Sorry markie, what did you want with hyung?”

Mark smiles, like a kid who got exactly what they wanted. “I asked if you wanted to watch a movie in my room, just us two, we haven’t done that in a while, it’s been busy huh”. The funny thing is, it wasn’t even that, Johnny purposely avoided spending alone time with Mark, quite funny considering how much he wanted to be with the younger male. But johnnys sick twisted mind couldn’t handle it, not when he didn’t know how much longer he could hold back. 

“I’m kind of tire—“

“Please,  _ hyung”  _ mark pouted, turning his head to the side, it was an act of cuteness but the way mark shirt exposed his neck down to his collarbone _ —why does he buy shirts too big for him _ —it was outright erotic.

“f-fine, just let me shower first” 

Mark claps his hand, loudly, everyone jumps. “Perfect” mark says, he jumps on Yutaa lap, and is stopped with a strong grip on his hips, and Yuta whispers something into the rapper's ear. Johnny's blood boils. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When they arrive home, Johnny sprints to the bathroom before anyone can beat him to it. It’s always a hassle having this many people in one dorm, and just a couple of bathrooms. No one— _ Haechan _ — listens to the dibs either. Johnny melts when the hot water hits his back, “ _ fuck”  _ he groans, all the stress and build up he’s been hoarding inside washed away. 

His muscles tense up, flex as the water hits him, it’s hotter than usual almost close to burning unpleasantly but he needs it, and it feels good. 

The shower is cut short due to haechans constant whining and pounding on the door,  _ roommates right.  _ “Okay I got it!” Johnny shouts from the other side, sighs once hyucks footsteps retreat. Johnny is out in 5 minutes, his hair still dripping wet. “Dude, dry your hair.” Hyuck says, laughing in the back of his throat. Johnny throws his dirty underwear at his face, laughs when hyuck screams. 

“You’re disgusting” he slams the bathroom door. 

To say Johnny is nervous is an understatement, he was terrified, couldn’t even bring himself to knock on the door. He stood frozen, hearing small rustles insides. Too focused to even notice jaehyun came out of his room.

“God will you just—“, Jaehyun being the lovely—terrible, friend he is knocked for him, leaving with a smile and mouthing  _ you’re welcome.  _ The door swung open, and Johnny's mouth salivated. Mark was in nothing but a big T-shirt and shorts he could see were far too short from the outline and  _ god  _ did his leg look great. 

“Hyung? Why are you just standing there? common” he pulled Johnny in with a tug. 

“Okay so what kind of movie did you wannna watch, action? Disney? Oooh  _ horror _ !” Mark yells excitedly. He’s cute when he’s pumped.

“Sure if you wanna shit your pants, you’re a baby when it comes to them” Johnny is just kidding they know, but mark still stomps his feet, a cute manner of his. “Shut up!” 

They still end up watching a horror movie, and all boundaries of personal space where left behind as mark curled up into Johnny, pressing closer and closer with every jumpscare. Any other day Johnny would ignore it because they’ve done this plenty. But it was impossible to ignore the heat of Mark’s body, the smooth skin pressed against his own, his legs,  _ god _ his legs. Mark’s shirt rode up higher, exposing up to his inner thighs. 

The urge to pinch, kiss, lick,  _ bite _ present in johnny, going straight to his di— _ mind. _

_ “Oh my god!” _

It wasn’t even Mark’s scream of terror—Johnny should’ve noticed the over dramatics in his voice—that snapped him out of his trance, it was the sudden pressure on his lap, right above his crotch. Mark was on his lap, marks ass was on his lap. Mark’s beautiful legs were wrapped around his waist,  _ thight.  _ Arms swung around his neck and face hidden in the crook of Johnny's neck, whimpering. 

“m-mark wh—“

“ _ Hyungie”  _ mark draws the word out, it rings in johnnys ear, shivered when marks breath comes in contact with his skin. “I’m scared” mark trembles. All Johnny can do is reach his arms around and hold the younger. “It’s okay, hyung is here, I got you” he soothes circles on his back, one hand leaves to turn the volume down, to silence the screams. 

They stay like this for a while, mark never let’s go, just hums ever so often. It feels nice to have mark like this, and he thanks whatever god is watching over him for not popping a boner, but curses when mark shifts.  _ Shit _ , mark moves more, adds pressure on his crotch, it almost feels...intentional but that couldn't be right? “h-hey, I love you mark but my legs are falling asleep, let’s get you to bed instead.” Mark listens, whines but slides off. 

“Good night mark”, Johnny leaves, turning of Mark’s lights as he falls asleep and Johnny feels sick, sick for letting something so innocent turn him on, he runs to the bathroom, his pants are off in seconds and his hand pumps furiously at his cock.  _ “You’re disgusting Johnny” _ he says to himself quietly as possible. Thought it’s not like the members don’t catch each other jacking off every other day, but they would know exactly why Johnny is fucking his fist at midnight. 

He’s relieved that they had a couple of days off because the mark lee on his lap, never leaving his thoughts. 

Fap material if you will.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Johnny comes to realize he does stare a lot, but mark is just that pretty, everywhere. His face is so small, small with big eyes. Cute lips, kissable, his mouth perfect to stuff his tongue or dick in. His cheekbones are sharp, a sharp jawline too. “You’re such a model” everyone tells mark, he who denies it and downplays himself. 

Mark's waist is tiny,  _ snatched. _ Johnnys hands could probably wrap around it perfectly. 

“You should wear crop tops” Jungwoo tells mark. Everyone stares wide eyed, probably all thinking the same thing,  _ that would be hot.  _ Mark just laughs, says something about the possibility that he will. That possibility came sooner than expected when Yuta did some online shopping. 

Maybe that’s what started Johnny’s full fascination with mark. 

The crop top in itself isn’t all that short on him, hung right above his belly button, no design, just a simple pink, and short sleeved. Mark twirls like he’s wearing some skirt or dress, shows off how it complements the dip of his back to his ass, because mark has a great ass,  _ bubble butt _ , he remembers ten saying. “Don’t I look pretty?” Mark is standing in the middle of the room, fluttering those lashes of his, waiting for the room to respond, they do, positively. 

“Yes”

”gorgeous”

”fits you perfectly”

“Your fucking hot” Yuta says, out of pocket. 

Johnny swallows heavy when he realizes he’s the only one who hasn’t said anything, mark looking at him directly. “y-yeah, you look...pretty”

Mark smiles at him, it toys with his emotions.. 

Mark still wears it, on days where he won’t go out, just strolls through the dorms, he wears it the next day after their movie night. It’s the last thing Johnny expects when he wakes up and makes his way to their living room. There he was, sitting next to Yuta in that stupid crop top,  _ I’m going to burn it _ . “Morning sunshine” jaehyun says, tone teasing, he knows too much about Johnny. 

It was not a good morning, and not a good night either. 

Johnny took a nap at some point, usually does on days off, he woke up some time around 9pm, is it really a nap if you “ _ nap _ ” for 5 hours? His body feels numb, getting up to stretch his limbs, he’s outgrowing his bed again. Wonderful—not so—perks of being tall. He rubs his eyes as the fridge light hits him, his throat is painfully dry, the cold water refreshing him, quenching his thirst. 

He makes his way back, when he notices a door open, yutas room. There’s a hand peeking out, grabbing the door from closing, Johnny could recognize it from miles apart, mark. 

“Okay hyung, good night”

“Night mark” 

Johnny wants to scream, yell, howl to the moon. Mark steps out, doesn’t notice Johnny, but Johnny notices mark well, the light from yutas room reveals everything, marks messy hair, his crop top—because he’s still wearing it—shriveled up, and his neck down to his collarbone trailed with hickeys. Some even on his tummy. 

His mind goes static, heat and jealousy gathering in his face. It’s wrong so wrong, mark isn’t his, isn’t his boyfriend, mark is free to like whoever, fuck whoever, but why cant it be him. 

Johnny doesn’t sleep anymore that night, he wonders how Yuta touched mark,  _ was he rough? Did mark like it rough? Was he gentle? Is that what mark likes?.  _ He groans, tossing and turning so much that hyuck throws a pillow, shutting him up for the rest of the night. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“You’re avoiding him” 

“I’m not”

“You are”

“Go away”

“Go talk to him if you aren’t”

“Jaehyun please just shut up” Johnny slams his fist down, wincing because it was too harsh, everyone in the room stares, including mark. “Break my table and I’ll kill you” they hear Doyoung say from the kitchen, they apologize. 

“You haven’t talked to him properly since that night.” Yes Johnny ended up confessing when he was caught by jaehyun jacking off in the living room, totally johnny's fault, but to his defense everyone said they were out doing things and failed to mention jaehyun was home. “That doesn’t mean I’m avoiding him.”

“John  _ I’m _ tired,  _ we’re _ all tired of this, talk to him for god sakes or I’ll end up taking him, I’m sure he wouldn’t mind” 

“What a friend you are” 

He debates it, actually thinks for the first time, but he doesn’t do it. 

instead keeps himself busy he tells himself because he won’t—cant— admit he’s avoiding mark. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He ends up in Mark’s room somehow. Somehow being mark grabbing Johnny's arm, outing and begging Johnny to help him with some lyrics, Johnnys heart is too weak for denial. Surely mark would cry. 

“Just say what’s on your mind, what catches your attention? It can be anything!” 

“Hmm” mark hums, he rests his palm on his chin, and stares Johnny up and down. “What?” Johnny asks, nervous laughter in his throat. 

“What’s on your mind hyung?” 

“Me?” Johnny responds 

“Yeah, I want to know, you never talk to me anymore” johnny's shudders as Mark’s fingers ghost over his shirt, trails from the hem down to his belly button, slow, till he finds his belly button, mark just giggles and retracts. “You’re sensitive, never noticed” Johnny laughs, only because he has too, he pretends it’s just another joke, a casual bro joke. 

“Y-yeah uhm, there’s not much on my mind at the moment—I mean the sunset looked nice today” 

“The sunset? Anything else”

“Not really, sleep? I’m exhausted”

“So I’m not on your mind?” 

“Wh—“ Johnny swears at himself,  _ fuck shit fuck.  _ His heart is pounding, feels sweat forming on his forehead. It’s sinful, the way mark moves to the floor, spreads Johnny's thighs, and his hand runs up and down his thigh. “m-mar—- _ fuck” _ the first touch is delightful. Johnny’s body twitches, his dick does too. 

“What are you—“

“Oh hyung, I know you’re thinking about me, I see the way you stare at me, you’re not subtle” 

“y-you saw?” His voice is breathy, clear that mark has an impact on him.

“Every time” mark presses his palm harder, Johnny's dick gets harder by the second. “I was wondering when you were gonna do something about it, but I had to take matters into my own hands” there’s a rub and then another, Johnny fully hard now. 

“ _ God _ —- mark I—“

“Tell me, tell me how much you want me, how much you want to touch me, kiss me, see my throat stuffed with your cock—how you want to  _ fuck me”  _

Johnny could come right there and then, but he holds out, he’s not some Virgin teenager who can’t hold it in, he’s just some dude who’s whipped for his best friend. “ _ Oh fuck— _ Mark just—- _ shit—  _ I wanna fuck your throat,  _ please”  _ he’s never expect to be begging for mark, but it’s mark, mark who’s just otherworldly. 

“Then do it, now” 

I’m 7 seconds Johnny is standing up and kicking his sweats off, another second and his underwear is thrown somewhere in the room. And after a minute he has his cock stuffed in Mark’s mouth. The heat is agonizing, is hot inside, Mark’s teeth scrape slightly against his shaft, and Johnny barely fits. 

Mark wasn’t surprised to see the length, Johnny is a big person, six feet of muscles. But seeing it up close, his eyes widened and Johnny feels his ego grow from the small whimper mark let’s out. 

Nonetheless he takes it like a champ, even with the tears slipping out. His small mouth is stretched so wide, he tries to swallow but gags when it hits the back of his throat. It hurts, in a good way. “ _ Shit shit! mark— _ you feel good, thight!” Johnny grips his hair, pushes Mark’s head further, and the small rapper whimpers on his cock, sending chills up his spine. 

“You’re so pretty like this, perfect on my cock” 

“Mffddph…” mark cant talk, who would with big dick down their throat. Mark reaches up, feeling around his Adam apple, and there a bump, Johnny's in so deep. 

There’s drool dripping down. His tears mixes with it, and when Johnny starts fucking his mouth properly, it’s wet, so wet, the sounds are horrifically fascinating, Johnny cant get enough of them. Mark cries harder, he can’t focus on anything, just grips on Johnny's thighs, the older hisses at the nails digging into his flesh. He complains by gripping marks hair tighter and fucking him animalistic. 

“I’m gonna come soon—You gonna take all of it? Every last drop down your little throat?” 

Mark can only nod and moan because Johnny gives him no way to speak. 

“Good” Johnny says, it doesn’t take him long to reach his orgasm, he cums, spilling deep, and like they agreed, Mark swallows all of it. It’s not the best taste in the world, but he acts like it is. 

When Johnny pulls out, Mark finally takes deep breaths. “hyung…” and  _ god _ his voice sounds wrecked, raspy and overused. 

_ Fuck _ , they have a schedule tomorrow.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It flashes in Johnny's mind continuously. Mark’s face full of cock, and it doesn’t help when they do it every night. Sometimes he thinks about Mark whining as Johnny sucks him off, it’s cute, Mark isn’t small by all means, average, but his dick is pretty, a good balance of not too thick or too skinny. And the tip the prettiest shade of pink. 

Mark has the perkiest of nipples, pink and cute, they beg to touched, and Johnny does, he flicks, licks, and sucks. 

He thinks about the time he ate mark out, mark is smooth down there, his hole just a darker shade then the rest of his body at some point mark ends up above him, riding his face. 

When they finally fuck properly, Johnny sees what he’s thinks is closest to what heaven is. Mark is tight, the tightest hole he’s ever fucked, but there’s not a crazy amount to compare too. 

“ _ There! Fuck, Johnny!”  _

Mark is loud, so loud that the members complain. “Go to a damn hotel” jaehyun says, he watches mark curl in embarrassment. A complete 180 from the way he acts when he wants dick. 

They fuck good, fuck a lot, fuck anywhere. 

Their rooms, mostly Mark’s room because their manager is never really there. Johnny’s room when Haechan isn’t there only doing it once when he was, but they got caught. During a scheduled they find a closet or room of sorts, the thrill of getting caught exciting them even more so Johnny fucks him harder and faster 

The rapper is sensitive, so sensitive. One touch and he’s begging like a whore, whimpering and writhing under Johnny. Johnny loves it, call him a sadist if you must. 

But one thing they never do is talk about it, talk about their relationship. 

“So are you two together?” It’s taeyong who asks him, and it’s too early in the morning for this, the whole dorm except for them still sleeping. 

“I don’t know” 

“Well, do you like him?” 

“Of course, he’s great” 

“You know what I mean John”, Johnny hates when taeyong calls him by his legal name, it means the talk is serious and he’s not getting out of here without a proper answer. 

“Taeyong i don’t kn—“

“Listen! You two are in a group, you see each other everyday, you have to work together, we’re not opposed of your hornyness for each other but” The leader stop for a second, sighs and pushes his hair back. “you have to talk to each other and figure out what it is you two have and if anything it seems like you two like each other so go!” 

He hates that he isn’t wrong, their dynamic is great now but what would it be like in the future. 

This could fuck everything up for everyone. 

Johnny wants to evaporate. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Johnny avoids mark again—“can I sleep with you?” Johnny says no, that his bed has bugs, “can you help me” Johnny says he can't because he’s too busy. “Can we just hang out?” Johnny says he's meeting up with friends.—it pisses mark off. 

“Are you fucking kidding me!” 

It startled Johnny, his door suddenly slammed open and closed, a  _ very _ angry mark. 

“Dude don’t slam my doo-“

“Shut the fuck up Johnny seo, really? You fuck me, you get your fill for a couple weeks and now you’re ignoring me” there’s a sting in johnnys heart, mark is genuinely upset, his lips are shaking, eyes starting to water, all because of Johnny. 

He’s seen Mark angry plenty of times, when he loses something, when he doesn’t get a move right or can’t come up with a rap verse, nothing like this.

“Here I was thinking—-I was—-god was I just a meaningless fuck to you?” Mark goes slack, no longer yelling Just a soft, broken voice, trembling at each word. It hurts, Johnny wants to reach out, tell him it’s not true, he doesn’t want this to be some fling, but Johnny can’t bring himself to do so. 

“Well?!” 

Johnny is speechless. 

“Fuck you” is the last thing mark says before walking out. 

Johnnys done a lot of fucked up shit in his life but this one takes the cake. 

He barely slept that night, and wakes up with crusty eyes, and a Taeyong hovering over him,  _ furious.  _

“Up, now” 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


It’s awkward, in all their years of knowing each other their relationship has never been this off. Even when they first met it wasn’t this bad. They don’t talk. Or rather hardly at all, unless they have to. Like lives, or during schedules. But at home, the table is quiet, at least between Johnny and mark, sometimes mark will simply eat in his room even though taeyong said not to do that.

But he lets him be.

“Nice going jackass” Yuta speaks first after mark leaves. 

“Shut the hell up” Haechan says. “Now I’m not defending you, I’m mad too, that’s my best friend johnny”

“I know...I’m sorry”

“We’re not the one you should be apologizing to” Doyoung sets Johnny’s freshly brewed coffee down, it’s exactly what he needs right now. He’s thankful, Doyoung has always been reasonable and understanding, gentle in situations when a member is going through tough times. “Please, Johnny, sit down and talk to him” 

Johnny sighs, it’s easier said than done. “I will…soon” 

The day goes on, Johnny hardly sees mark, that being Johnny stays hauled up in his room with hyuck. After a few hours he gets the courage to talk too mark. 

“He’s not in there” jungwoo stops Johnny in his tracks about to knock on Mark’s door. “He’s with Yuta”. Of course he is, johnny grits his teeth, but he’s in no place to be jealous right now. “Talk to him later, give him another day or two” jungwoo walks off. Leaving Johnny to dwell on his thoughts. 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


A whole week passes before any attempt is made again. Johnny tests the waters. A bad move. He grabs mark a drink, hands it to him backstage. “Here, you did great”, mark is unamused, just takes the water and thanks him, “this doesn’t change anything” he says under his breath, so low Johnny almost misses it. 

Johnny decides this is it, they need to talk now. Which is why he find himself in Mark’s room at midnight again. Mark is sitting on the bed, arms folded, a sullen look. 

“So? What is it, I’m tired I want to sleep, if you have nothing to say just leave, I’m not goi—-“

“I’m sorry!” Johnny says abruptly. He hold his breath, before letting it out.  _ Deep breaths, deep breaths.  _ “I’m sorry mark, you don’t deserve this, I don’t deserve you, god mark I’m so sorry” Johnny is usually strong, physically. But here he was, trembling in place, he can’t even look at mark, scared that he’s eyes are filled with hatred, but he still looks, saddens when he’s met with a teary mark. 

“Then why…” 

“I don’t know, I was scared, I was stupid, it’s you mark, you make me loose all thought and control—not that I’m blaming you—-god no—-I just….I like you mark, maybe too much” 

The room is silent, heavy breaths and stares, “stupid you are Johnny seo” and then mark is kissing him, gently, different from the kisses they shared when they fucked, this is genuine. “You should’ve led with that and we wouldn’t be here” 

“I’m stupid” and Johnny is kissing him back, feeling every single corner of Mark’s mouth. He missed it, missed the softness of his lips. 

“I like you too... _ a lot” _

“Glad that’s settled” 

This time Johnny is gentle, nothing like their first time together which was just them being pent up and horny, fucking fast for release. Johnny takes his time, kisses him a thousand times, his hands roam and massage every inch of his body. He takes his time with Mark’s nipple, the sensitive buds twitching. 

His tummy is soft, Johnny makes sure to leave marks everywhere. 

mark is a mess, Johnny has his mouth tight around his cock, he whimpers and helplessly fucks into Johnnys mouth, the older lets him. 

“ _ Hyung,  _ please”

Johnny wastes no more time, stretches mark and fucks into him slow but hard. The pace hardly speeds up, today was about just them, their passion and attraction for each other. Johnny whispers sweet nothings into Mark’s ear. And mark wraps himself around him, holding him tight like he’ll never let go 

And even when Johnny wakes up, mark is still by his side, arm thrown over johnnys body, possessively. He can’t help but smile, mark looks like an angel, the morning light seeping through the curtains shining on mark specifically. 

Beautiful & Ethereal. 

Everything feels right again, so maybe johnny's life isn’t perfect but mark brings him one step closer to feeling like it is. 

Johnny can practically hear the dorm celebrating already, it’s going to be quite the day today. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you if you read this, sorry for my shitty writing. Let me know your thoughts !! 
> 
> [my Twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/home)
> 
> [my cc](https://curiouscat.qa/GL0SSYMARK)


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